Brighter days.

I’m glad to say that my mood has improved. If anything I’ve been a bit high. I’m finding it hard to get to sleep at night and I’m up early in the morning. But it is manageable. I’m taking a little extra medication and I’m functioning well. I fell a bit restless but I’m not irritable. I’m minding myself.

I’ve bought a new car. A Tesla. It will be delivered next week. Spending money is a sign of my hypomania and explains why I change my car so frequently. It’s not a big deal but I am excited about it and looking forward to collecting it.

We are skiing in France at the moment. It’s lovely. The scenery is beautiful and skiing conditions are good. I haven’t actually done any skiing yet. I’m not much good and I’ve chosen to lounge about the chalet and amble about town. It’s very relaxing and I’m really recharging the batteries. It’s a welcome break from work.

I have a few things on my mind.

One of my son’s was diagnosed with depression last year. It has been slow progress and he is still struggling. It’s hard to watch. He is taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist. He sees a psychotherapist and our family is doing everything we can to support him. But it is hard going and sometimes upsetting. I know he will get better. I trust in that but it is going to take time.

I feel guilty that I am partly to blame. I wonder is it because of my genes that my son suffers? Is this the beginning of bipolar disorder? The only consolation is knowing that we are doing everything we can for him. We are giving him every chance for a speedy recovery. At least I understand what he is going through. There have been many tears and very few smiles. I wait for the day when that is reversed.

In recent weeks we have begun a fostering process of a teenage boy. He is a friend of my youngest son and he had been spending a lot of time in our house. It transpired that his home circumstances were desperate and he was being neglected. After discussing it with the family, we offered to foster him and now he is living with us.

The assessment of our suitability to foster is ongoing. It involves numerous meetings with social workers and detailed and probing discussions. But in the end it will be worth it. It’s a good thing to do and we can offer this young man a much better life. Hopefully it works out.

There are a few challenges facing us at the moment but my family are addressing them and we are strong. We will survive this. Since my mood has been elated recently, I can expect an episode of depression in the near future. We will survive that too. And in the future we will look back at this time and realise it was just another hurdle in life we had to overcome. We will not only survive, we will thrive as well.