Hi there.
As you’ve guessed by now, I live with Bipolar Disorder. I’m recovering from an episode of depression and I’m getting better every day. It takes time, you can’t rush it.
I’ve decided to start this blog primarily for myself. It might give me an opportunity to make some sense of my life. And just maybe somebody will read it and find it supportive. They might relate to some of my experiences and it might give them a different perspective. Maybe it will help. That’s enough for me.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar thirteen years ago but I was first hospitalised when I was twenty four. I’ve had quite a few admissions since then and it hasn’t been easy. But I’m still here.
Not only that but I have a wonderful wife, whom I love deeply, and three beautiful sons. I have been able to maintain a professional career as an Anaesthetist despite needing to take time off occasionally. And over the years I have better learned to cope with my illness.
I guess what I’m saying is that I have been lucky. I have managed to survive a debilitating illness and prosper. I needed a lot of help and guidance along the way. Sometimes I was simply carried. But it can be done.
Up to now, I have been very private about my Bipolar Disorder. Very few knew about it except for my family, a few close friends and a few colleagues at work. The silence that surrounds mental illness is lifting and I see it as a change for the better. I’m not going to be so silent anymore.
Over the next while I will share my experience and thoughts with anyone who cares to listen. Bear with me, I’m new to this.
So powerful and moving and sad and happy and brave. So refreshing to read the blunt and deep thoughts in turmoil. This is my life. My ex husband is bi-polar and my daughter 25 has also been diagnosed. My husbands life choice of medication is alcohol and denial of anything being ‘wrong’ with him (his words). The result – he lost his wife and 3 beautiful girls and is a bitter and twisted man. My daughter, when diagnosed vowed not to become her father. She has been to St Pats and it was the tuning point in her life. She has a beautiful young son whom she is unable to take care of or raise – because, like you, she knows the limitations of her illness. She is barely able to take care f herself, lack of sleep, highs and deep lows do not lend to the stability a little boy needs. She takes her meds, attends her psychiatrist and her counsellor. I am proud that in her strife not to become her dad, she helps herself by asking for help. She freely talks of her bipolar and struggles – it is sad to see her in a room full of people all laughing and talking and she sits with panic and fear and sadness. Every day is a struggle and as her mother I am helpless and powerless to protect her from this monster. I shared the link to this blog with her. She keeps a journal – she also finds it helps. God be with you and all who suffer with mental illness and live each day for better or worse. Some are lucky to have families who understand and support them. You are the lucky ones.
Thanks Teresa. I wish you and your family the best of luck.