It’s a long time since I posted. It has been an unusual and uncertain time. The country is in lockdown for the second time. The number of cases of infection and death rise despite my wish in April of a soft second surge. The reference to Covid 19 in the media is impossible to avoid. It commandeers conversation. It’s is omnipresent. It feels interminable. I am weary of it. I pray it releases us soon.
Like everyone else, I am trying to get on with life as best I can. I am fortunate. I get to go to work daily. I get to meet my fellow workers. I have a distraction. For everything else, there is Zoom. I don’t think I would tolerate working from home. I would struggle with the isolation. I don’t think I would have the discipline to be productive. Anyway, it doesn’t apply to me. I’m just pontificating.
Work has been busy. I left the maternity hospital in July and returned to the clinic I have worked in for the past twelve year. I enjoyed my locum experience but I was glad to return to the place I call home. I dipped my toe in a new pond but eventually found the water slightly chilly. I found the on call work draining. It took me days to recover from twenty four hour shifts when I was typically in at night. Sleep deprivation is inadvisable for someone with bipolar disorder and I found it very destabilising.
My current work environment is not without its hazards. The workload in the clinic has been unusually heavy since the beginning of the summer and it has taken it’s toll. Having only taken one week off since February, fatigue is building up.
I found my mood dipping in the past month and life is particularly difficult for the last fortnight. This time of year heralds depression and I am no stranger to it. I know it will pass.
In the meantime I use all the supports at my disposal. I’ve consulted with my psychiatrist. I try to meditate regularly. I keep in contact with friends. I push myself to exercise albeit within a five kilometre radius of my home. And I turn to my wife to carry me over the coals. I’m lucky. I’m not alone.
As always the depression will lift and I will have energy again. Hopefully it will coincide with the lifting of the restrictions and the approach of Christmas. And then we can all have fun again. Heaven knows we’ve earned it.
We’ll get there Dave. This too will pass. As long as we all look out for each other we shall see brighter days to come. 🙏
Very true Colin. I missed you in Cavan this weekend. I was tempted to go outside the front of the house for a vape in the hope I would meet you. You were in my thoughts 🕉